Icicles are dangling from the eaves and snow is sliding off the roof. The icicles outside the kitchen window look like an evil claw trying to reach in and snatch some food! The snow flurries are swirling around and every so often the wind is strong enough to send a shower of snow swirling off the roof and down to the ground.
I enjoy looking at the snow, though, just not being out in it. It's so peaceful and calm and has such an undisturbed, blank canvas kind of look to it. Almost like anything is possible and everything is OK. It makes me contemplative.
Until the critters leave tracks in the snow and it starts to turn into ugly, gray slush. Then it's back to reality.

We also aren't completely into healthy eating. Yes, we try to eat overall healthy, but I'll never give up baking and eating cookies and cakes. I'll never give up cheese or cream sauces. Pasta and breads. Gluten. All good things - in moderation. I enjoy those foods too much and life is too short.
So it's not a running/exercising blog, it's not a healthy eating blog. I'm not a chef nor have I ever worked in the food industry, I'm not a trained food critic. My culinary skills are from necessity - unless I wanted to dine out for every meal or exist solely on powdered orange macaroni and cheese and frozen dinners, I had to learn to cook for myself. Once I started, my skills and interest grew. Except for trips home to my parents' house, I've been 'on my own' with meals for 20 years now. I'm not at a beginner stage in the kitchen.
So it's not a 'learn how to cook' blog nor is it a 'trained culinary goddess' blog.

I find myself bothered by what seems to be an explosion in recent years of Mexican, Indian, and Thai restaurants in my hometown - cuisines I just do not enjoy because of my sensitive stomach. SP loves those cuisines, and when he comes home from dining at such establishments, I always tell him he stinks - he smells of garlic and spices and chilies and other foods that make me ill/disgust me. He thinks my nose is too sensitive! But he does know how fragile my stomach is - unfortunately, he's witnessed the effects of certain foods on my stomach.
Maybe I need a plan, or a goal, like Julie from Julie & Julia. Every puff pastry recipe in my new puff pastry cookbook? Or every cookie in my new cookie cookbook?
Sigh.
I really don't know. I just feel adrift. Usually, given time, these drifting feelings sort themselves out and before I realize it, I'm 'anchored' again. I think my immediate goal should be to simply make it to February 1.
For the rest of January, I guess I'll just stay curled up under blankets, drink lots of hot tea, gaze out the windows at the winter wonderland, and hope that SP & I make it through some upcoming rough seas. There's no one I'd rather have by my side, steering the ship through the swells, and holding my hand if I get sea sick.
I understand at least a little of what you're going through, re: blog purpose (I'm not satisfied with mine either), health issues, winter hatred (haha), frustration at being overwhelmed, etc.
ReplyDeleteHang in there; I love reading your blog and I know others do too. We'll be around no matter what you do. :)
Lindsay - thank you! It's really nice to know someone enjoys reading the blog! And that someone can understand a bit.
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