Thursday, March 7, 2019

Thursday Thoughts

Since last week's Thursday Thoughts, things have not been great. I don't know if I ever mentioned on the blog, but since November, I've been having problems with hearing my heartbeat in my ear. For 2 months I was told it was a sinus/Eustachian tube dysfunction issue. Then I was told it couldn't possibly be that, it was an ear thing. Then ear doctor said there wasn't anything wrong with my ear, I just had a form of tinnitus and I had to learn to live with hearing my heartbeat in my ear. But just to be sure, get a CT scan, but 98% of the time it doesn't reveal any reason for the pulsing.

So last Friday I had the CT. We went to lunch and as soon as we got home, I had a call that they found something on the CT and could I come in again that afternoon for an angiogram, an outpatient procedure. Then someone else called and said I would need an MRI, too, and to prepare for an overnight stay.

Any idea how much I hate being in the hospital? I spent 2.5 weeks in one for the hip replacement followed by 3 weeks in a rehab facility. Two years later, I was in the hospital for several days for the femur break. A month later, I was in for a week for femur surgery and then a year later it was 2 days for knee surgery. Then six years ago I was in the hospital again for my broken left hip. I hate the hospital 5 seconds after I arrive.

Add in my uncontrollable fear of dying that day because of the carotid dissection, my fear of having a stroke and ending up like some of the people I saw when I was at that rehab facility for my hip, the fear of having an angiogram - it was not good. I wasn't in pain from a broken bone or surgery this time, so no morphine to help me sleep/mute my annoyance and stress. Just the disgusting, hot, sweaty bed with head/leg controllers that were next to my head, so really difficult for me to twist and reach. People coming in every 20 minutes nearly all night to take my blood pressure, draw blood, insert an IV, whatever. A room right next to the heart monitor screen for the nurses, a screen that beeped. A lot. Loudly. I was so exhausted from getting up so early for the CT and then I couldn't sleep. Saturday was even worse. I was told morning angiogram. That turned into 1 pm. That long wait came after Friday afternoon when we rushed to get back by 3 pm and then no one came to see us until 8 pm. Five hours sitting a room with nothing, just nurses saying, oh, they know you're here. I was livid. Oh and I hadn't had anything to eat since lunch on Friday because they didn't order me a tray for dinner and then from midnight on I wasn't allowed any food or water.

The doctors were great and the nurses/care people were great. But now I'm being billed for an overnight hospital stay when both an MRI and an angiogram could have been scheduled outpatient appointments. With my existing health issues, sleeping in that bed and twisting/contorting to reach the bed controllers has left me feeling extra sore & achy - particularly in my neck/shoulders. I've got 4 holes in my left arm from being poked, 2 are a lovely yellow bruise. The one on my right arm is also a lovely yellow color. They tried to do the angiogram through my right leg, but after poking around a lot they couldn't find the artery (vein?) so they had to do my left leg. This means I have poke holes, bruising, and soreness in both areas instead of one.

I suppose I am on the mend. For now, treatment is an aspirin/day for 6 months then repeat CT to see if the dissection healed. I am hoping that with time I become less stress/worried about a clot/stroke. I am hoping my neck achiness/soreness is from twisting and contorting to see/reach the bed control buttons and not from anything serious. I had a horrible headache Saturday night/Sunday morning and I was convinced I'd be dead by morning. In retrospect, I was so darn tired and hungry that I had my "tired/hungry" headache, but something about a carotid dissection at age 48 for no apparent reason (no trauma like a car accident) has really freaked me out.

Oh, and the best part? The doctors said the location of the tear means it is likely NOT the cause of the pulsing in my ear.

I am laugh/crying over all this. But mostly crying. And a hot mess of worry.

What We're Eating:

  • Meatloaf, pierogie, roasted asparagus. All week long. 
  • Dessert: paczki, whatever we find in the house

What We're Watching:

  • Victoria ended. I was happy with several developments. It'll be interesting to see how some of the cliffhangers are resolved.
  • Worst Cooks ended and Team Red won - yay!
  • I feel like The Passage is dragging a bit. It's like they had enough story for 8 episodes but are being forced to make 10. 
  • I have not seen any of the season finale of HTGAWM because last Thursday night we lost power right at 10 pm for 2-3 hours. I suppose I could watch online, but I haven't felt like it. 
  • I do not like Meredith and Deluca. At all. Ugh.
  • I Am the Night ended. I guess the ending was OK. It answered the questions, at least in this Black Dahlia version, but it wasn't all wrapped up with a neat bow and everyone living happily ever after & justice prevailing.

What I'm Reading:
The new Greg Iles book. One of my favorite authors. Diving into Cemetery Road is taking my mind off other things.

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